Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Today is the beginning of week 3 on my way to being able to run a Marathon. 52 weeks in total is what it will take, and going into week 3...I'm feeling down.
I've put on weight, I've been eating poorly, and this weekend really did not show any sign that my habits are changing.

I don't want to be one of those people who is doomed to roam this Earth as someone who fails are doing things. Who fails at being healthy, something I always see as so simple.
Do I want to be one of those twiggy girls who walk around in there dashing hue of orange? No. I want to be fit, curvy, and toned. I love my big thighs, my big butt, my big boobs, and my little waist. I just wish there was more damn tone to them!

I need more Vegan food in my damn house, I had to revert to being a Vegetarian for the time being because, well, I was pretty much losing my muscle mass due to not getting enough protein or calories. Am I saying being a Vegan is hard? Hell no. I'm just one of those 20 (soon to be 21) year olds who doesn't have a job and is going to school and needs their Mom to buy them food.

Oh well, week three will be better than week two and week one. It can only get better. It WILL get better.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Change is a cruel bitch

Sorrow suffocates
My already drowning soul
My breath collapses my chest in
As I struggle to find one last bit of oxygen
To get me through my day


I hold my breath
Savouring what life I have left
Wishing you would be the one to breathe the life back into me


But as I grow, I realize
You want me to choke
You want me to feel stricken
Powerless
Feel as if I have no control over anything in my own life


You have made yourself a deity
A God in my ever fading world
One of strength and hope
A beacon of light to lead me on my way to everlasting happiness


You're every move
You're every word
Causes my world to either crumble in upon itself
Or begin to work itself back to a whole


My faith faulters
As this pillar of seeming perfection
Crumbles


Piece by piece you reveal your true self
And gradually I come to realize


You are not who I fell in love with